It's been a while ja itkui

No moro! It's been a while. :)

Elämä on ollut sellaista häslinkiä viime aikoina että on ollut vaikea ajatellakaan mitään blogin kirjoittamista. Tänään kuitenkin heräsi taas suuret tunteet ja olihan niistä nyt taas päästävä jauhamaan.

Päätin tirauttaa muutaman onnen kyyneleen tuossa eilen jo ensin kun tasa-arvoinen avioliittolaki pääsi jatkokäsittelyyn. Aivan uskomattoman hienoa että Suomi ei jää tässä asiassa enää takapajulaksi vaan osoittaa suvaitsevaisuutta ja kasvamista. Jokaisen rakkaus on samanarvoinen!

Sen lisäksi kun odottelin tänään bussia Karhulassa töistä päästessäni, päätin tirauttaa muutaman kyyneleen lisää. Puolustaudun: olo ei ollut mikään huikea muutenkaan, oon hieman kipeenä, ressiä on ollut paljon ja mieskin on ollut viikon teillä tiettymättömillä ja se on ollu aivan kamalaa, joten olin vähän herkällä fiiliksellä liikenteessä!

Kuitenkin, kyseisellä bussipysäkillä seisoskeli 70-80-vuotias pariskunta. Juttelivat toisilleen, naureskelivat toistensa jutuille, halailivat ja suukottelivat, pitivät toisistaan kiinni ettei tulisi kylmä. Ja mulle tuli sellanen olo, että se joka ei halua elämältään tota, on sekasin.

Pohdin siinä tilanteessa, että pelkästään se, että näkee nuorien pariskuntien käyttäytyvän noin on hyvin harvinaista nykypäivänä, Saati sitten se, että henkilöt jotka oletettavasti ovat katselleet toisiaan jo useita vuosia, ehkä jopa kymmeniä, ovat edelleen yhtä kiintyneitä toisiinsa, eivätkä toistensa läsnäollessa tunnu edes näkevän mitä ympäröivässä maailmassa tapahtuu. Noh, taistelin viimeiseen asti mutta pian oli pakko hymy naamalla kääntyä poispäin koska kyyneleet alko virtaamaan liiankin urakalla näinkin pienestä asiasta.

Kun pääsin kotiin, laitoin ensimmäisenä Spotifysta soimaan mun itse kasaamat Unconditional Love ja All the Right Words -listat ja jatkoin huoletta nyyhkyttämistä. Sen jälkeen olikin pakko tulla jakamaan tänne tätä samaa aivan uskomattoman ihanaa ja samalla niin haikeeta fiilistä. Oikeesti. Osottakaa nyt hyvät ihmiset sitä rakkauttanne.

Mulla on viime aikoina itselläni ollu sellanen tunne, että maailmassa on vaan yks asia mitä edes näen, ja niin sekopäiseksi kun se ihmisen ajoittain tekeekin, se on samalla uskomattominta ikinä. Mulla on jatkuvasti sellainen selittämätön rauhan ja varmuuden tunne mitä en oo koskaan aiemmin kokenu, ja maailma pyörii ympärillä eikä mulla oo siitä mitään hajuakaan. Aion myös pitää huolen että tän fiiliksen kohteena oleva ihminen on siitä täysin selvillä, koska tällaiset jutut on vaan jotain niin arvokasta!

Tässä vielä pätkä joka kuvaa niin täysin sen kaiken mitä todistin tänään siellä kylmällä bussipysäkillä, ja miltä maailma näyttää mulle joka päivä :) Ja pari biisiäkin vielä! Nyt on ällöä! Tätäkö se ikävä teettää...?

Ja sit voitte tsekkailla vielä nää jos haluatte lisää ällölöllöbiisejä.

http://crazydancecalledlife.blogspot.fi/2014/09/beautiful-thoughts.html

http://crazydancecalledlife.blogspot.fi/2014/08/allololloilyy-ja-biisei.html

Beautiful thoughts

I finally found something to write about in my 100th post (wow!) and it's because a lot has been on my mind lately. Usually when I'm thinking about some serious stuff I ease it all by listening to music, and here those songs fit perfectly to the subject!

Anyway, the thing that has been on my mind is a beautiful and important subject. It's mostly about love towards anything or anyone, and can be described only as the beauty of caring.

All of us have heard the lyrics to that one song that hit us deep at some point of our lives. All of us have (hopefully) had the tingling sensation of hearing something so beautiful that it goes right to your stomach. Well, I've been thinking about the importance of those words and those actions in everyday life, and how big of an impression they leave on a person.

See, I've always been the kind of a person who values romance and beauty beyond naive. I very much still do, but I've (thank god) come to terms with the idea that the actual fairytale that I've been searching for doesn't exist. Still, I seem to live in my own little world of romance and wonders and sometimes it hurts to see how cruel and rough this world can be.

"The world is no longer a romantic place.
Some of its people still are, however,
and therein lies the promise.

Don't let the world win." 
-John Cage, Ally McBeal

So I dream. I dream about finding those people in this world who appreciate and love me for who I am, unconditionally and throughout. Those, who value each thought and are there to talk some sense into me when my world is falling apart. Those, who can tell me to shut up and I know I really should listen. I dream of a love that overcomes all obsticles, that sees every imperfection perfectly and that makes you go crazy as hell sometimes. Something that is so beautiful that there are no words to describe it, and something that makes you miss it every second that it's away with every fiber of your being.

Unfortunately these things are hard to find. Sometimes I feel alone thinking this way, and most of the time seeing everything so beautifully and missing something so badly makes me seem insane to others. Usually in romantic relationships I end up being the one who cares more, and it's not something you should wish for, even though the greatest moments of it can make you so high you're not sure you're ever coming down.

I love it, really. It makes me go crazy sometimes, it makes me appear dramatic to others, but the feeling you get from those great moments, when you momentarily think you're exactly where you should be, or everything around you appears to you so beautiful it makes you want to cry, it's worth all that. My deep emotions and all the beauty I've seen or heard have made me appreciate everything more, and to hope and to dream, sometimes even beyond rationality. And all that will remain with me, in my memories all my life.

So I'll keep dreaming. I'll keep dreaming the world would be just a little more softer on people. That the love people feel would be extraordinary and always kind. That people would find their other halves, those who they just know are their own pieces of perfect and show it to them every day for the rest of their lives. I hope everyone finds those friends who stick with you through thick and thin, and nothing can ever come between that special bond you have, not other people, not time, not money, not anything.  Keep dreaming, keep seeing beauty all around and treat people like they deserve to be treated. I beg of you, please, make this world just a little bit more of caring.

Sway

Löysin taas huikeen biisin, se on niin vanha mutta niiiin hyvä. Tuassa! 

Hei koht on muuten sata kirjotusta täynnä! Huh :o

Don't stray,
Don't ever go away.
I should be much too smart for this,
You know it gets the better of me.
Sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you,
Pull me out in time,
Don't let me drown.

Let me down.
I say it's all because of you.

And here I go
Losing my control,
I'm practicing your name
So I can say it
To your face. It doesn't
Seem right
To look you in the eye,
Let all the things
You mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth,
Indeed it's time,
Tell you why
I say it's
Infinitely true.

Say you'll stay,
Don't come and go
Like you do.
Sway my way,
Yeah I need to know
All about you.

And there's no cure,
And no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out.
Instilling so much doubt,
It makes me so tired.
I feel so uninspired.
My head is battling with my heart,
My logic has been torn apart
And now,
It all turns sour.
Come sweeten
Every afternoon.

Say you'll stay,
Don't come and go
Like you do.
Sway my way,
Yeah I need to know
All about you.

Say you'll stay,
Don't come and go
Like you do.
Sway my way,
Yeah I need to know
All about you.

It's all because of you.
It's all because of you.

Now it all turns sour,
Come sweeten
Every afternoon.
It's time,
Tell you why
I say it's
Infinitely true.

Say you'll stay,
Don't come and go
Like you do.
Sway my way,
Yeah I need to know
All about you.

Say you'll stay,
Don't come and go
Like you do.
Sway my way,
Yeah I need to know
All about you.

It's all because of you.
It's all because of you.
It's all because of you.

Two kinds of happiness

Today I stumbled on a Facebook status that was quite depressing, and I started to wonder if it actually might be true. Well, partly at least. It basically said that no matter what we do we'll never be happy so we should just cut the act and stop insisting it is so. My first thought was "But I am happy, this is bulllshit." But then I started to wonder.   

So I, and many more keep saying we're happy. That all is right with the world and you're satisfied with your life as it is. But is it just a lie that we use to cover up the fact that a human being can never be fully satisfied? There is always something we'd like to change if given the change, no matter how happy and satisfied we might seem. You may ask a person how they're doing, and when they answer "great", it will usually be followed with a "but then there's this".

For the last couple of months I myself have been saying that I've actually never been happier. That my life seems and feels perfect at the moment, and that there is nothing I would change. Bullshit. That is just the bigger picture. Damn sure I would find things I'd like to change, things that have not quite met my expectations in life and things that I could even help myself but I've just been too lazy to do anything about it. And god how selfish, ignorant and simply awful it feels to be even thinking about this. Am I never going to be satisfied, do I always want more? Could I actually just say "I'm doing great" without any buts or maybes?

Even though it feels ungrateful to be wondering such things, I also think it is vital for the human race and for us simple human beings to always want more, to always want to evolve. That's what keeps us going in life and that's what is running the world. So yes, it might be necessary to never be satisfied or completely happy in that matter, so that you'll always try to climb up, change your point of view and have new dreams. This is why I separated two kinds of happiness in my mind.

There is the one that keeps us going, the one that keeps us dreaming, the one that is never satisfied with the little things in life, so that you'll always find something to nag about, something to evolve in. But then there's the happy life -happiness. That happiness that people are said to see completely only when they're lying on their death beds. That last idea that tells you if you've lived your life the way you're satisfied with, the thought of not regretting too many things you haven't done, or sometimes even the things you have.

So yeah, I'll always be nagging about the little things. I hate it when he does that, why can't I be more determined in life, god how annoying it can be when people are being like this, why am I still staying in that low-paying job... You know what I'm talking about here, don't you? But these things that I complain about, in the end they'll step aside. Because I happen to love it when he does these other things, and I'm amazed how I love him more each day. I'll always work extremely hard for everything the person I've grown to be finds precious in life. When it comes to people, they can surprise you at every corner of life, and I even belong to one of those lucky ones who actually happen to have a job.  

So maybe I'll complain. Loud and a lot, all my life. But while I'm taking my last breath, I'll gladly tell you how incredible my life was, because when you spend it with the people you love, doing things that you love, that's the kind of happiness to be appreciated and cherished, and never to be ruined by some small issues on the way. That's why I am and always will be utterly happy and satisfied. 

5 000!

Oon aivan hämmentyny, nimittäin mun blogissa on ollu vierailuja yli 5 000! En olis ikinä uskonu että kirjottelen pari hassuu ajatusta ylös ja joku oikeesti käy niitä lueskelemassa, kun ei itsellään oo ollu yhtään tarkotuksena jaella blogia minnekään ja oon kirjotellut lähinnä omaksi ilokseni!

Mutta hei kiva että jotakuta kiinnostaa ja kiitos tästä kiinnostuksesta! :) Toivottavasti ootte löytäny jotain itsellenne täältä jossain vaiheessa!

<3:lla Mia